now i know why i became what i already was.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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