We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
