Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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