What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
