I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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