he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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