This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Dicks are not precious.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
