also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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