where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
you traded sex for a burrito?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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