I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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