He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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