We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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