help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
