I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
