Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Randomize
