I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Is it penis luge time yet?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I love you.
Bad choice
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
