it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
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