If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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