On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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