May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
