I'm gonna have a badass scar
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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