I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
whose ass print is on the piano?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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