I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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