I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Randomize
