I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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