Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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