It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
