I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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