My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
