fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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