In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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