how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
