Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
