I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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