I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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