All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
