Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
