I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
