How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize