theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
