You work out of a Hotel?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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