I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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