but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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