dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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