Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize