I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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