Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
