well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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