the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
