Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I love you. Go after that dick
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
