carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
