Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
