I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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