I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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