dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
