'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
