I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
