I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
