If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Welp...herpes.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
