At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
