all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
