Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Four minutes until I can fart!
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
