Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Randomize
