If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
