I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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