You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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