Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
