when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
