david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
